Matthew 26:20-25

22 And they were exceedingly sorrowful, and each of them began to say to Him, “Lord, is it I?”

20 When evening had come, He sat down with the twelve. 21 Now as they were eating, He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me.”

23 He answered and said, “He who dipped his hand with Me in the dish will betray Me. 24 The Son of Man indeed goes just as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.”

25 Then Judas, who was betraying Him, answered and said, “Rabbi, is it I?”

He said to him, “You have said it.”

Judas had seen what all the rest had seen. He walked the same paths, sat at the same feasts, heard the same teachings, had the parables explained to him, and witnessed all the miracles, in the presence of the Promised One.

If Jesus foreknew these things, why choose him? This question is the same as, “If G-d knew that Adam and Eve would disobey Him, why put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in Eden in the first place?”

Love cannot be forced, and choosing someone to love is a risk, and love is a decision and commitment that is chosen every single day. It is not a feeling, and we do G-d a disservice to say we love Him and receive His Son yet betray Him through our disobedience, lack of spiritual growth, and yielding to temptation.

To choose to submit to authority and yield your will to someone who loves you is not an easy thing. Trust is not easy, nor is it easily earned, yet more than once our Savior says to us, “Assuredly…”, and even more importantly of the kingdom, “If it were not so, I would have told you.”(John 14:2)

Judas, as Paul said of Demas, loved the world. His own declaration, when he came back to himself condemned him. “I’ve betrayed an innocent man.” Too much had been set in motion because of him, and the hearts of the men he sought to give back his bribe were too hard and set against Jesus to receive him.

With every act of disobedience, rebellion, backsliding, and yielding to temptation, we betray Him too.

And like Judas, and the prodigal son, and Saul with the scales of the Serpent blinding his eyes to the Truth, we lose fellowship and place ourselves under wrath.

And again like the prodigal son, and Paul with the scales of the Serpent removed, we are received once more by the grace of our Lord.

Judas, up until the moment he left the room, still had the choice to not go through with what he did, having seen all the rest of them had witnessed walking with the Promised One. Jesus knew at that point the cup of the Father’s wrath and the filth of all our worldly sin would not pass from Him, and G-d would provide no other lamb.

This is why our minds must be renewed: we must think on Him before we act. If I do this, whom does it serve? And our spirits must be refreshed, for He will not despise a contrite spirit. (Psalm 51:17)

Therefore I pray:

Lord Jesus, there is no defense or excuse I can offer for myself for my acts of betrayal. I can only thank G-d that You were sent to provide for me a new covenant of grace and a second chance to be reconciled and enter into my Father’s rest by the power of Your holy blood, shed for me and all who believe.

Today, Lord, I meditate on the message of the Cross and rejoice at the power of the Resurrection on the last day when I too can walk with You and hear all that You would say to me, praising the Father in His light on the new earth for all eternity.

I thank You for redeeming me from being a son of perdition to a son of the Kingdom. Renew my mind, refresh my Spirit, heal me from all my diseases, and grant me boldness to spread the good news that those who believe in You and the One who sent you will, like Lazarus, be free of the grave when Your great shout of ‘Come forth!’ tells us the day of judgment is at hand.

I would enter into my Father’s rest, so I yield to Your authority and love, and trust that if it were not so You would have told me.

Forgive me and receive my repentance. My broken heart is grateful, and my contrite, renewed spirit rejoices in Your victory.
May it be done to me as You have said.

Amen.